She’s Back!
After a few years off gallivanting through sun-soaked vineyards, getting lost in winding cobblestone streets, and sampling enough gelato to become a self-declared expert, our on-scene contributor is back with even juicier stories to share!
Antonia will spill the espresso beans on the quirks, surprises, and delightful mishaps of relocating to and living in Italy as an Italian American expat. Get ready for laughter, adventure, and maybe a few pasta-related confessions!
Buon Anno Nuovo da Salerno, Italia – Antonia Sparano – Salerno Walking Tours
Ciao a tutti! Happy New Year! |
ANCIENT HISTORY Well, I’m finally back with the intention of continuing my Big Fat Blogs about life in Southern Italy. Like many others, life came to a slow stop after COVID hit in 2020. Instead, I focused on various healthy YouTube videos for exercise and spiritual growth. But nothing inspired me to write a blog. |
Most of my previous blogs were travel-oriented or observations as an expat in Salerno. Since then, I’ve traveled extensively across Northern Europe, Portugal, and as far south as the island nation of Malta, Croatia to the east, the U.K., Ireland, Switzerland, France, San Marino, and, of course, the entire country of Italy. In 2023, I spent an average of six months out of the year doing what I love most- traveling! I’d traveled to Italy many times before the move here and always felt so comfortable, like I really belonged, not like in the rambling city of Los Angeles, where I lived for many years. But vacations have a strange way of altering reality. For a number of reasons, I ended up in a small town and have gotten comfortable, for better or for worse. Here’s (most of) my up-to-date story |
THE OPPOSITE OF LA DOLCE VITA…FROM MY REGIONAL PERSPECTIVE But enough of the fun stuff. Let’s backtrack for a moment. I moved to Salerno in March of 2019, feeling buoyed by my friends’ supportive comments like ‘you’re so brave! I could never have done that !’ But moving was the easy part. There’s a dark side to living in Italy that was so unexpected. I knew I would miss my friends, but I thought I would make new ones quickly because I’m very outgoing, and I thought I spoke enough Italian to navigate my way around town and maybe make some friends in the local yoga studio. Wrong. I did not acclimate as quickly as I thought I would. Actually, I never thought I would have problems acclimating because I’m Italian on both sides of my family, so it’s already in my blood, right? Wrong again. Where I did make friends initially was in the language school here in town, but the downside of that is those same friends were only here for a week or two (on a language study vacation) and returned to their home countries, leaving me with separation anxiety. We shared meals, homework, and some cultural adventures through the school, and then in a flash, it was over. REALITY I tried so hard to connect with the locals, but for a couple of good reasons, it just wasn’t happening. The most important reason was that my Italian was just not good enough to sustain a conversation beyond the weather and their favorite restaurant. When I put myself in their gorgeous Italian shoes, I realized that perhaps they just didn’t have the patience to speak with me in Italian with all the mixed-up verb tenses. ( This is what I told myself.) BUT…NEWS FLASH. I’ve read and heard about this many times over the years and refused to believe that it could be true, (especially because I’m so fabulous-hahaha) but the Italians who are not well traveled or who have not lived abroad, or who live in smaller cities were not open in the least to having a new friend who was a ‘stranieri’, a foreigner, an outsider. Their friends went back as far as kindergarten, maybe from the same building they currently lived in, through university, and beyond. And they have no room or reason for a new friend. It has been virtually impossible to break through that glass ceiling. There’s little curiosity beyond where I was born and lived before I came here. Many of my friends in the expat group have related the same stories. |
MY PEOPLE I will have my seventh year anniversary on March 1st of this year, never thinking I would stay longer than three months, which was the length of my visa, until I finally received my dual citizenship. We have a great group of expats from the U.S., U.K., Austria, Japan, Australia, Ireland, and a few from Italy who like to practice their English. It took five years to round up a good group like them. They’ve saved me from the loneliness that can accompany moving to a foreign country. |
I bring this up because it is an incredibly important aspect if you’re looking to settle into a new country. That said, my friends who came here with a partner may not have felt the rejection as much as a single woman. YOU NEED TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE. There’s discrimination here on many levels. (If they hear American accents, get ready for an inflated price.) Many stores and local coffee bars do not have prices listed, so we can get charged different prices depending on the mood of the owner, not all owners, but definitely many. No matter how good I think my Italian pronunciation is, the minute I open my mouth with ‘quanto costa’, I can assume it’s going to be more than a local’s price. In fact, I’ve had certain shopkeepers totally ignore me until I happened to mention that I live here and I’m a citizen. Apparently, they don’t want to spend time on shoppers who might be on vacation…again, not just my experience. |
Honestly, I grumbled to anyone who would listen about all the annoying things I encountered in southern Italy for about 6 years, and then it changed. Here’s a quick list of the dark side in no particular order: |
-Rudeness of people on the streets, sidewalks, and stores ( evidently, customer service was not in any training manual). Granted, the salaries are low in Italy, but the use of common courtesies, mostly in government or hospital offices, is non-existent ( mostly, but not all) -Trying to find, get, and keep a handyman, plumber, etc, to come to your house. Making an appointment is a waste of time because they rarely show up. Make as many calls/ texts as you want, but rolling your eyes won’t get them there any faster. This is where PATIENCE becomes a virtue. -The big highways have better roads than the streets in a smaller city/town. Same for sidewalks. Don’t look up or you might fall and twist an ankle! So many holes and uneven pavements. No country for older people with mobility issues. Also, no safety rails or general handrails on many staircases, interior or exterior. The cobblestones become so painful from walking several thousand steps a day unless you have great, comfortable rubber-soled shoes. -Behind the stunning scenery all over southern Italy lie side roads with illegal dumping everywhere. What an eyesore, not to mention a potential hygienic problem for people with respiratory issues. My local streets are missing trash receptacles, which explains the trash thrown in every direction. I’m actually embarrassed to have friends visit because of the dirty streets. -Another myth…. Gorgeous weather year-round. Because I live at the southern end of the Amalfi Coast, it’s assumed we have hot, sunny beach weather year-round. I’m writing this in January, and this morning we had a thunderstorm that brought hail and damp, super-cold temperatures. Salerno is on the coast, and I live about two blocks from Il mare, which means the wind is colder and damper than the areas further inland. But, as it is said, there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes. Same for the summer heat and humidity. Accept it or escape it! There’s so much more I could share, but I don’t want to scare everyone away. Plus, I did mention several other annoyances in a previous blog. Yes, I know these complaints are so minimal in the scheme of life, considering all of the horrible stories on the news every day, and I do keep it in perspective. Also, I want to spare you the hassle of finding out on your own. My advice is to come here for three months and see how you feel. Really experience day-to-day life.
HUMBLED IN EVERY WAY |
To be fair to my beautiful ancestral homeland, I needed to make some changes in my own attitude. As I cleared out the last of my things in storage in L.A. last summer, I had an epiphany. The realization is that nowhere is perfect. Italy has some monumental ( no pun intended) problems that may not be resolved in my lifetime. But it is a country of wonder, with beautiful ruins from the mysterious canals of Venice to the elegant town of Taormina in Sicily. So, as I sealed the third and last box for shipment to Italy, I resolved to get serious and improve my Italian, once and for all. I’ll never be fluent, I’ll never be ‘one of them,’ and I may never get the humor in the theaters and films. But I’ve resumed my private lessons in Italian, I’ve been watching more Netflix in Italian, have re-joined my Italian conversation group, and will start an online group lesson with Italki. Also, I’m embracing the cultural differences and the illogical logic of why things don’t work the way they should. Good for a start. I already feel more connected and confident when I get my coffee, making small talk, and even getting a little smile out of my favorite grumpy barista. |
WILL SHE OR WON’T SHE? |
Will I buy a house here? No way. I’m a single woman and don’t own a tool belt. Get my license and buy a car- no, thank you…love the trains. Start some kind of design business – no, grazie! And why, you ask. The insane, illogical bureaucracy. Will I move back to the States at some point? It’s not in my plan. But I’ve learned to never say never. I like going to Venice for a long weekend during Christmas and seeing the gondolas decorated. I like visiting my cousins in southern Germany for the Christmas markets. I like taking a train to Rome for an hour and a half to see a great museum exhibit, have lunch, and come home, thinking how lucky I am. |
Let me know if I can answer any questions you may have about moving here, or if I can write on a topic of interest to you. I hope this has been informative and helpful. Best wishes to you all for a beautiful 2026. Safe travels! |
To book a tour contact me on Facebook – Salerno Walking Tours |
Researching Colliano Salerno Campania
Robert talks about his family from Colliano that settled in NJ and Pennsylvania and his grandfather’s murder in the early 1900’s. And meeting Zio Ernesto playing cards in Italy. Robert has made over 30 trips to Italy. Podcast Click here to join our group on Facebook Video
Cooking Class in Salerno
The featured photo above is from chef Stefania’s veranda. Another photo from chef Stefania’s veranda. Cooking Class in Salerno Ok, readers. If you’re even THINKING about making any of these recipes, try not to eat anything for at least 24 hours before. Yes, they are that dense. One portion of the lasagna alone is enough for two days of nutrition. This is a cooking class I took several months ago when I first moved
Great Takeout In Salerno By The Manzoni Sisters
Maria Grazie, proud proprietaria… We All Don’t Cook OK, readers, not everyone in Italy cooks ALL the time. Some of us have better things to do…like hope our newfound friends will invite us to their place for the authentic stuff. And if I say a really serious novena, they’ll have air conditioning. Unlikely, but I can always hope. (lack of air conditioning and ice are a whole other topic here in Italy.) Long ago and
Antonia’s Big Fat Move To Italy
I have been fortunate enough to convince my good friend, since the first grade, Antonia, to become a guest blogger on the site. Antonia recently, ( mid May 2019 to be exact) received her Italian Citizenship. It’s been a long an grueling process from what she tells me. But lucky for us she is going to give us first hand information on the process and her exploits as an American woman that moved to Italy.
